Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Ok, so here I am once again. I think I am making this a habit of writing every day. But then again isn’t that what a blog is? I just want to say first off that a lot of readers thought that ‘Therapists’ was true. Well people that is what I was going for. I wanted to make it seem real so that it would strike the heart and get it racing. That one is not true just a made up thing that came to my sick twisted little brain. I do that often. I like writing about destroying life. Why? Because that is what my mind thinks about and that is just a part of me. Wow, I sound like a Michael Jackson song. Oh, well. So yeah that is what I think about majority of the day. Do I act upon it? Nope, I do not. I do not want the life that I live to be in jail for a murder cause then let’s face it, I wouldn’t be able to bring you great writing. In addition part of the story was true. I was seeing a therapist. I was diagnosed with Schizophrenia. For those that are not familiar with that, it is considered a disorder in which suicide, hearing voices, irregular thought of death and ways to kill are my symptoms as well as split personality. I do have a split personality. In fact I have been known to be rude and mean in other ways I have been known to be kind and gentle. When I was little, I was thinking about death all the time. Thinking about how to kill someone and such. I know that this is going to change the view on me from a lot of people but I don’t care. If you can’t accept me for me, then then hell with you. I don’t need that negativity in my life. Some say that I can flip out at any time. Well be that as it may, I am not that type of person. My heart is clean and not pure but I have no intentions of hurting anyone ever! I have never done that not physically anyway. I refuse. I would rather hurt myself and kill myself than to hurt someone in that way no matter who you are. I am not a hateful person I just have a lot of hatred in my heart. My friends say that my heart is cold at times, that may be true, but I believe I can be a nice person as well. A lot of the things that I write about are true stories that have been told to me from others. I am going to write one after this that will explain my way of thinking a little bit further so that everyone may understand what I think about. How I think, my thought process and the personal conflicts that I battle in my head every day. This is a short one, probably the shortest one I have written. So I want to say that I am sorry if you all thought that ‘Therapists’ was true. It’s just a story. Thank you for reading and I hope that doesn’t prevent you from reading more.