Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Double Lives

Well here I am again. This time I wanted to write about men who live double lives. However I need to figure out what that would mean. What is a double life? Why would someone want to live that way? Check it out I will tell you. A double life is good for one reason. To protect themselves or to protect the ones they love. Some cases, one will try to live this life in the outside world, where others will want to live this life on the inside more, in private. Let’s try to understand what the possibilities would be for men to hide this. In order to do that we must establish what that life consists of. For hypothetical equations, say for example a man that wanted to be a woman. Hey there are a lot of men that think about that. So say you have been with a woman for oh I don’t know eight years. You were in love, went through trials and tribulations and you two split up for whatever reason. Let’s say for arguments sake it was for cheating. Your heart was crushed. Your stomach rolls around in knots as if you got kicked in the nuts. What do you do? Eight years with this person is gone and you have no idea what to do. You start to think about different things. Then you start drinking and talking to different people on the internet. One of those people tells you about a cross dresser competition. You start thinking, telling yourself no that’s not for me. Now your mind really wonders about the subject. Telling yourself that you are just going to research the idea, you start looking on the internet. Searching for answers of questions that you have never thought of before. Feeling confused that this type of thinking would quite possibly make you think that you are gay. Or have any slight thought in your mind about the repercussions of the idea. You start looking further. You begin to understand that there are 2 thirds of the population of the Americas alone that have cross dressers whether openly or not. And they go on to live their happy lives. You ask yourself what now? Well a little voice in your mind starts to tell you look at clothing. You start searching for clothing. Not the clothing from your usual stores, no no. you are looking at clothing from Charlotte Russe, Express and Ann Taylor. Looking around on the websites, you see a few things that you say to yourself that you would wear this. Now your emotions an mind are racing. Trying to ask yourself why are you doing this. Instead you continue, looking at more and more websites. Creating accounts, adding things to your wish list, calculating how much each thing is. Doing homework so to speak. Now you are looking at the different things. So now you ask yourself, I have the tops, bottoms and shoes. Now I need a wig. So you begin looking at several of those. You don’t like any of them; you search for people who make wigs. Talking with several people explaining what you want the wig to look like. Your excuse, it is for my girlfriend you say. Asking all sorts of questions about color, length, how to attach it. After a few days you finally pick out the one you like. Then it hits you. Lingerie. You feel your dick getting a little erect. As you think about yourself wearing lingerie. Trying to figure out why, you go to victorias secret to look. You spend hours online trying to find the right one. Then you realize that you don’t have boobs. So how is a bra going to stay on you and look decent? So you look on yahoo search and see what kind of contraptions they have for imitating breasts. You find out they have water bras. So now you are looking at those. Finding out who has them and for what price. All the while you are doing this you are second questioning your sexuality. You gather all the information now the next step is deciding if you want to order the items. You tell yourself I will just get it and return it. So you order it with a credit card., all of it all the websites. A few days later it all arrives. You are so happy, like a kid at Christmas. You open the packages, looking at everything. Examining how to put things on, in what order they belong. You are so use to taking them off someone else, not paying attention how it goes. After a few hours, you get everything on, look in a mirror. After staring into the mirror for a few moments, you realize that you like it. This is known as cross dressing. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. Sometimes that is just what men like doing. This is also known as a double life when it comes to the point where you go out in public. You are shy at first when you get to a club for gays and lesbians. Clubs where people like you are cross dressed and are happy. Openly gay and some that are not gay. You are faced with a dilemma. Should you mingle with people, or should you just stay at the bar and have a good time. Lets see what happens shall we? So you are sitting at a booth, hopefully in the dark, when a guy comes up to you and asks if he can buy you a drink. You look at him and nod. Who wouldn’t it’s a free drink right. He orders it at the bar and brings it to you. he then proceeds to sit down and tell you how pretty you are, his name and what he does. You smile and nod trying to act as feminine as possible. Feeling uncomfortable as he asks you questions about your life, you are trying to sound as feminine as possible. He leans in and tells you that you look hot for a guy. You relax and giggle a little, talking more and more to him. After the night is over you are finally realizing what happened at the club. You look at the mirror and realized that that was the most fun you had in a long time. This is it, Readers; this is the making of a double life. Now you start to go out every weekend wearing more and more clothes. Building your wardrobe with women clothes, meeting people, going out. Having fun. As the week fall off the calendar, you try to remember why you started doing this in the first place. You can’t remember, shrug your shoulders, and begin planning the next weekend. That’s when you realize that your family is coming over for that nice dinner that was planned a month past. So you start to panic, thinking what to do with the clothes in the closet. Just in case someone sees. Planning a lie. This is where it gets tricky, Readers. Look at that. You are thinking of a lie. Why not just be true. Tell your family what is going on. They are family; they are supposed to support your decisions, right? Wrong. Out of the 2 thirds of men cross dressers, there are 87 percent of them that families have disowned because of their habit. So what do you do? The night of, the doorbell rings. You greet everyone, and show off your new house. Someone goes into the closet to put their coat in, and sees all the clothes. You are asked in front of everyone who’s they are. Now, you have 2 choices. The truth or a lie. They are my girlfriends, you chose the lie. Now you are really ok with yourself for now. You tell everyone good night after dinner, dessert, and some wine. You go to sleep. The next day you are getting ready for a night out. So you are getting dressed in a cute little skirt, with a cute blouse. Putting on your shoes, and then waiting for a friend to pick you up the doorbell rings, you grab your purse open the door and it’s your father, coming to retrieve his coat that was left the night before. You have shocked looked on your face as well as on his. He throws a fit. He is yelling, waving his arms, all upset. You are upset as well. trying to calm him down so you can tell him how it makes you feel. He tells you to never call him again. You are upset. Your friend comes over an hour later. He wants to comfort you. you are feeling bad sitting there make up running as you cry in a bottle of whiskey. Feeling bad you don’t know what to do. You tell him everything. Everything about your girlfriend, cross dressing, your father. With you still crying, he tries to comfort you, telling you its okay. You are like for you not for what you dress. Making you feel better, but deep down inside you feel like shit. You tell him that you are okay. And you would like to stay there. He leaves to go clubbing, you go into the kitchen, grab a knife and slit your own throat. As you lay there bleeding out, you think about your whole life. And decide that it was a lie. You should have been more respected more loved. Readers, this is a prime example, why you should not be so mean to cross dressers. Understand what they are doing and for what purpose. Understand that this really happened. This is something that opened my eyes to cross dressers. They’re people just like me and you; the only difference is that they are outcasts by society. For what purpose? Because they try to be comfortable with themselves, and the only way they are able to do that is by cross dressing. This happened to a friend of mine. Readers, this same thing applies to gays and lesbians. The moral of this blog. Don’t be caught up in the hype that society wants you to be a part of, instead be a free thinker. Think of a person as an individual and not as a weird person. Not as a person that you need to be in fear of because he or she is different. You are different as well. Everyone is. So should we cast you out of society? No. instead we keep you because you are an individual. A person that we need to operate a truck or that person that bags our groceries at the local supermarket. We need each and every person because we all have a purpose.